The Deadline Has Passed
Thank you to everyone who has contacted me, provided encouragement, submitted their work and shared their stories. You are appreciated.
Ideas For Your Submission
Deadline for Submission: June 1, 2009
- Write about your upbringing. How did you grow up? Talk about your childhood, family, traditions and values.
- Discuss stereotypes, differences and memorable experiences growing up related to race and identity. Give specific examples of how you were[are] perceived and how it affected you.
- Provide examples of what you believe may cultivate a cultural divide within the Black Community. Possible topics: assimilation, “ghettorization”, hip hop culture, western educational system, Black middle class, etc.
- Describe your experiences dating someone (of the same race) from a different background. How were they perceived by your family and friends? What were the challenges? How did their morals differ? How well did they interact with others in your circle?
- Provide details about an interracial relationship and your reasons for dating outside your race. If you have not dated interracially, but desire to, talk about why you have refrained from doing so.
- If you are single, list the reasons you believe it has been difficult to find a partner. If you are married, list the reasons you believe it has been challenging for you and your spouse to coexist.
Open Call: Submissions for Anthology on Classism and Dating in the Black Community
WANTED: Short, funny, introspective, real stories describing the dating experiences of Black women who believe classism has created obstacles in finding a suitable mate. I’m seeking creative nonfiction entries featuring a specific incident with a clear humorous focus.
STORY LENGTH: Up to 800 words
PAYMENT: For selected stories, I’ll pay the following one-time fees. (Word counts refer to final edited versions.)
$50 for 100 words or less
$75 for 101–250 words
$100 for 251–500 words
$125 for 501–800 words
RIGHTS REQUIRED: Non-exclusive worldwide rights in all languages. Author retains copyright to story.
FORMAT: Stories must be submitted electronically. A story may be typed in the body of an e-mail or sent as an attached Microsoft Word document.
E-MAIL TO: whitenatured@gmail.com with subject line “Anthology Submission”. Please provide a brief author bio.
DEADLINE: June 1, 2009
ALSO SEEKING INTERVIEW SUBJECTS. PLEASE E-MAIL FOR DETAILS.
Classism and Dating in the Black Community
Has growing up middle class created obstacles in finding a good Black man?
“Book in Me”
Alright, so, I didn’t intentionally set out to create a blog. Yet, I think it’ll lend a little more clarification to what it is I am trying to explore with this project. This is a concept that I have had for some time now, following a conversation that I had with my girlfriends. We discussed a recent conversation that I’d had with my then-boyfriend, during which he admitted that he normally dated white women. He went on to explain that I’d been an exception because I was “whitenatured”. I had never heard of this term, but apparently it was meant to be a compliment. When I “polled the masses,” others were able to explain exactly what he meant. Apparently, he had put me in a separate category than most Black women. He thought we got along so well because I behaved like a white person. Naturally, I was offended, but it got me thinking. The same theme had been playing out repeatedly throughout my dating history.
Growing up middle class in predominately white communities has apparently set me apart from some segments of Black society. I get it. I dealt with the stereotypes in high school. The “I thought you’d be stuck up when I met you” and “you talk white.” What I didn’t expect, was the impact it would later have on my love life. In print media, there are tons of articles about how to find a good Black man. Apparently, the standard is set at “he betta have a job and good credit, ” but is that ALL? Well, it’s not and I am here to tell you, because even when I find a man with a good job (and hell, multiple degrees) we can’t get it together. At the end of the day, how we grew up matters. In my opinion, there are fundamental differences that can prevent having a successful relationship. Like the fact that he grew up in the ghetto without parental guidance (maybe without parental presence), experienced things firsthand that you’ve only seen on t.v. and has a different outlook on life. You have a close-knit family and believe in having ethics. His Mother was a heroin addict, he met his dad exactly once between prison stints and he’s not comfortable around your family. To him, morality places second to survival. Maybe he is fully immersed in Hip-hop culture and you are offended by it. Whatever the case, class matters. It probably has, or will, change how and who you date. So, let’s admit it.
What’s the other side of this? There’s also an awful lot of talk about what happens when you find ‘your equal’. He was raised in a middle-class, two-parent household in the suburbs. He is well-read, well-traveled, is close to his family and he understands you! But, guess what??? He only dates white women (wah, wah, wah). In his experience Black women are bitter, demanding and materialistic. A byproduct of his upbringing/college experience has been that he is just used to being around white people and so…it’s just easier. Where does that leave Black women? “Assimilated” right out of one dating pool and rejected by the next? I’m just saying. Maybe.
